Dear Mike Judge...
It is with a heavy heart and a pint of hard cider that I write this letter to you. Let me preface this letter by telling you that Office Space and Idiocracy are two of my favorite movies. I consider Idiocracy to be the most accurate "post apocalyptic future" movie ever made. I bought the Office Space kit just for the "Is this good for the company?" banner. And I date the decline of American society at the exact moment Beavis and Butthead went of the air.
However, after watching tonight's King of the Hill episode, I would like to kick you in the shins. I speak of the season finale in which Lucky and "The King of Torts" file a series of frivolous lawsuits, and in which Hank Hill performs a soliloquy on the evils of lawyers and litigation in general. Besides being a wildly inaccurate depiction of the U.S. civil justice system, portions of the dialogue in this episode could have been written by a PR flak for one of the many corporate front groups that ceaselessly attack our courts to benefit their corporate masters.
While I'm the first to admit there are a few scumbag personal injury attorneys who lack morals, ethics, or decency, they do not represent the average attorney anymore than the handful of priests who molest children represent the average priest.
First, I would like to explain the legal problems with Lucky's lawsuit against Hank Hill. A brief recap for those who missed the episode:
Luanne's fiancee Lucky is in need of work. Hank Hill suggests to Dale that he should hire Lucky for his extermination business. Dale does so, and invites Lucky into his home's basement/office. The two of them engage in some horseplay (instigated by Lucky), and Lucky falls and injures himself. Lucky retains his attorney, who proceeds to file a lawsuit against Dale. As it turns out, Dale isn't insured, so the quest for "deep pockets" begins. They first consider the manufacturer of Dale's pesticides, but he brews his own. Then they consider suing the homebuilder, but Dale built the staircase that Lucky fell on. Finally, they settle on Hank Hill for recommending Lucky to Dale. Or more to the point, they settle on Strickland Propane, Hank's employer.
Under the theory of "respondent superior", Lucky claims Hank's employer is liable for Hank's recommendation and the injury that Lucky sustained. Under respondent (or respondeat) superior, an employer is liable for the acts of its employees performed in the course and scope of the employee's job. Since Hank's recommendation was not in the course and scope of Hank's employment, and since the recommendation occurred on Hank's property, Strickland Propane would be in no way liable for Hank's recommendation. And even more importantly, Hank wouldn't be liable, either anymore than Monster.com would be liable if Dale hired Lucky after reviewing his resume online.
If you're looking for additional stories involving lawsuits for the show, here are two that are much more realistic:
- After years of protracted use, Dale develops cancer from the chemicals he uses to make pesticide. He has difficulty finding a lawyer to take his case because he's used chemicals from three different manufacturers over the years and determining liability will be difficult. He eventually finds an attorney who sues the three different manufacturers and the chemical distributor. All four defendants deny all liability and alternate between blaming each other and blaming Dale. The defendants mount a multi-million dollar defense and fight tooth and nail not to release internal documents, citing such reasons as "trade secrets." Dale's lawyer, a sole practitioner, is overwhelmed and persuades Dale to settle for a fraction of the case's true value. Dale dies a slow, painful death, and the majority of his settlement goes to pay medical bills. Once Dale is dead, his notoriously unfaithful wife could become a stripper with a coke habit. Obviously, there's lots of hilarity there.
- The notoriously cheap Mr. Strickland decides to save money by cutting corners in the safety department. After years of neglect, one of the main propane tanks explodes, paralyzing Hank from the neck down. Because the accident happened on the job, Hank can't bring a personal injury lawsuit. And thanks to the "reform" to the Texas workers' compensation system, Hank is forced to accept permanent disability benefits that are far less than his salary. After blowing through Bobby's college fund trying to make ends meet, the Hills lose their house and are forced to move into an apartment. The rest of the show could depict the difficulties of a family of three trying to live off of Peggy's meager salary as a substitute teacher with a poor grasp of Spanish.
I doubt you'll use either of these stories because they're so miserably depressing. Unfortunately, stories far worse than these occur time and time again because so many people want to "reform" the justice system instead of reforming the systems that let these injuries occur in the first place.
Mr. Judge, I can forgive you for your false depiction of the justice system as I'm sure it was unintentional. What I'm not sure if I can forgive you for is the inevitable fallout: The blogosphere will be aflame with poorly-written rants about your show proves we need tort reform. Some conservative nutjob group (CFIF is my bet) will cite the show as another example of lawyers run amok, and an already cynical public will find yet another reason to distrust lawyers.
Comments